Languages are codes we give to each other in the way we talk or behave. A common phrase is ‘I’m fine’ in response when strangers or even friends ask how we are feeling. Our body language maybe saying something completely different such as ‘I am annoyed with the weather, transport or life’ or ‘I’m so excited I have a new job but can’t say that yet.’ Even though there is more access to sharing our feelings or emotions there is still a view that it should be swept under the carpet or stay hidden. When we hide how we are feeling it builds up until we realize we must take action such as seeing a professional to speak to about life.
I do admit English is my only language or code; my other family members speak a number of languages fluently. However, as a young child I was introduced to another type of language/code as a four-year-old. Our family get together were always large affairs as there were so many people, I was not a fan of crowds so escape was a possibility thanks to my granddad, an artist who survived the Battle of the Somme as a teen. He taught me to tap out SOS on his hand if I wanted to go to his painting room instead of the noisy family room. He was a very kind person.
Morse code was what allowed me to escape and led me to art. Much later I learned someone called Harold Bride, who also tapped out SOS as a radio operator on the Titanic as it sank, was my second great uncle the man who helped rescue so many via his coding. After he was rescued on the Carpathia, another ship he continued to send out Morse code messages despite having frostbite from the freezing ocean. In Morse Code SOS came to mean Save Our Souls/Ships and is written ‘··· – – – ···’. January 11 is Learn Morse Code Day to remember the time in 1838 when Morse Code was first transmitted which was used in ships and aviation until 1999. There are sites that can translate into Morse Code now. Coding now has a completely different meaning and is about creating computer software or figuring out the genetics of DNA.
Every person has a type of code in the way they talk or behave which can be seen when people speak with me as a therapist. Their wording might be fast or slow paced and they might sit almost frozen whereas other use a lot of body language and facial movements. None are wrong so your way is personal to you as it’s your code. It maybe from the personality you have and some from the experiences over the years. Some are learned from the people or system that raised us as children or young adults. Codes/ behaviours/language can be adjusted with experience, ageing and when we find guidance from a mentor or talking professional.
Trauma psychotherapists assist people who have grown up in uncertainty and find some of life triggering. Their coding maybe that many things are scary like they were in the past and trust is hard to find. When people begin to heal from these experiences they start to see they are much stronger than they thought and have talents they didn’t realize. They may also find their relationships change for the better.
Looking at yourself you may see how you talk and act or friends may point it out to you. Life behaviours which are not comfortable can be reviewed with people who are trained internet counsellors that can be found at ACTO or Dr J web app that has qualified online counsellors and run by a medical doctor.
Dr J https://www.dr-julian.com/